Broken Girl
by changeofscene
Summary: One shot, following the 9th May episode! Aw my poor Lauren :'(


**A/N: I'M A BAD PERSON. AAAA.**

**I'm so so so so sorry i haven't updated ****_Holiday_**** in what seems like forever! i've had so much stuff to do with college. **

**Meh, :( I will update it, just after exams.. give me 3 or 4 weeks!**

**But after tonight's episode, which made me cry i might add, i had to write again. This is gonna' be a sort of one shot kinda' thing. Hm, maybe. It will be a little different but bare with me as i want to see what you guys thing. It's a surprise actually ;-)**

**Enjoy this, i'll be back tomorrow... all being well. (Don't hold me to that) **

Joey's POV.

I couldn't handle her any longer, nagging in my ear about something less than important. How could I ever of wanted her? How could she think I didn't know? It has never been her.

'Look, Luce I'm gonna' go, I'm not feeling too good' I lied, getting way too fed up of her chattering in my ear and she was sat way too close for my liking, before standing up without waiting for a response, because honestly I didn't care in the slightest. I made my way towards the door of the Vic, I couldn't be around any longer, if it wasn't Lucy becoming my permanent attachment, it was the sight of Lauren drinking, the thought of the damage she was doing herself killing me inside. I couldn't help glance at her, that little part of me still wanting to protect her, a pleading look in my eye wanting her to stop. Her eyes locked with mine for only a split second her being the one to tear away and crash her lips down on Tyler's.

I froze. I ended it, but she knew I still loved her surely? My fists clenched and my breaths became short. She kissed him; I knew that but that thought wasn't stopping me from wanting to smash his face in. It was like teasing, he was doing what I had wanted to from the moment I walked away from her. Her eyes looked up at me again as her lips locked with his causing my heart to ache. I couldn't tear my eyes away. I wanted to scream. It was all over in a matter of seconds as Tyler pushed her away before Whitney jumped up to startle the two of them.

"What the hell Tyler?!" Whitney screamed at her fiancé. Lauren and my eyes were still grasped in each other.

"She kissed me Whit!" Tyler argued, the words swirling around in the air before charging towards my chest, a puncture to my heart. "Lauren tell her!"

Lauren prized her eyes away from mine as the tears became apparent. She moved her gaze to her best friend still no words forming sentences out of her mouth. She mumbled a sound, vaguely, before looking back at me again.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, before her eyes left mine and were replaced on Whitney, "Whit, I'm sorry. I… It… me. It was me." I couldn't take my eyes off of her, the need to protect her now more apparent than ever. Her stance; legs slightly apart as she balanced on the side of her feet, her fingers entwining with each other; fidgety.

"We're through Lauren" Whitney declared with anger in between her words. Lauren sniffled as a tear rolled down a cheek and she nodded slowly before bowing her head. I was still frozen to the spot, not knowing whether I should leave or not. She had no idea how much that kiss twisted my heart and quite possibly gave it a good beating; there was no doubt about the fact I still cared for her. Her exhaustion was evident as she said nothing following Whitney. She shuffled awkwardly for a few seconds before regaining her posture and moving to leave the building. I watched her for a moment before moving my eyes to meet Whitney's. Her eyes told me she was sorry, she knew how it was effecting me as it did her. She understood.

"Go" she mouthed at me sincerely, even after Lauren stabbed her in the back she wanted nothing more than for her to be healthy and happy. I nodded before swallowing the lump that formed in my throat as Lauren oppressed Tyler's lips.

"Joey!" _That_ voice called as I went to leave the room, I couldn't deal with her now. She was the least of my problems. I pulled the door open to reveal the cool night air, the square deserted. I shivered slightly before heading down the steps into the gardens. She wouldn't have gone home, she never would. Not in the state she is, I know every little thing about her; I know where she'd be.

Part of me was still questioning if this was the right thing to do, could I put us both through this anymore? I hadn't even considered what I'd say, I just assumed it would come to me in the moment, although this situation had me well and truly stumped. I was in love with this crazy, beautiful, broken girl who needed my help but I refused her. I told her I couldn't help her and I walked away, causing us both to venture into weeks and weeks of pain and regret. I had my reasons for ending it, but none of them seemed worthy as of now. She was broken, a glass bottle knocked and smashed on a hard surface, if I found some tape I'd put her back together. I just hadn't quite been able to find that "tape" to allow myself to fix her without breaking her further. To put it simply, I didn't know how.

I shook my head as I reached the play area, silence filled the air. If I didn't know she would have been here I'd of never seen her. I could faintly make out the back of her, perched on the swing facing the opposite way. I froze for a second or two, doubting my purpose once again before making my way towards her. I gasped slightly in the cold air, but still managed to keep quiet enough for her not to notice me.

"What was that Lauren?' I whispered, my eyes fixated on the ground. I needed to stay impartial. I wanted to help her, but as a friend first. If I as much as glanced at her I'd cave, I'd do nothing but embrace her and kiss her protectively, my broken girl. She jumped slightly at my voice, obviously startling her out of deep thought. Her head lifted but still she did not turn to face me.

"I don't know" she mumbled with a sigh, bowing her head once more. We were both fed up of shouting.

"Lauren, please just talk to me," I pleaded, moving to sit on the swing next to her. She turned her head and allowed herself to glance at me, her pained face swamped in tears. She began to open her mouth before I spoke again. "You have no idea how much that hurt me"

She closed her mouth quickly, her eyes changing, becoming darker and angrier.

"What?" she snapped bluntly. "How much it hurt _you_? How dare you Joey. You ended it with me remember. You ended it." I thought we were both fed up of shouting. I closed my eyes realising I'd put my foot in it. "Forget it Joey. Why are you even here? To tell me how much of a wreck I am? Don't you think I know? But I can't stop. I can't stop because I push people away; I pushed you away, my parents and now Whitney. I drink to forget, and now I drink more and more because it doesn't matter how much I drink, I can't forget you. I can see it's different for you, you've forgotten…moved on might I say? Where is she? Waiting around the corner? You tell me it _hurt _you to watch me kiss Tyler, yet you sit and flaunt her right in front of me. Tonight I went home, to change, to try. To try and be different, to impress you because I want this, I want you back so badly and I return to see you cosy with her. Of all people. She did it Joey, I don't care what you believe anymore, because it will change nothing. She spiked my drink last week and pushed me over the edge. But you took her side, believed her. So go, go back to her and do what I can't manage. Forget."

By now the tears were fully pledged down her cheeks. I sat stunned for a few seconds, absorbing every word she said, every emotion she expressed. I'd broken my girl.

"I know" I whispered.

She looked up at me, confused if anything.

"I know she did it Lo," I admitted, I looked back towards the floor, hiding my shame.

"But it changes nothing, it still doesn't alter the fact I've drank every day since then. She may have started it, but if I was in control I'd have stopped there, but I didn't" She told me in all honestly.

I nodded in understanding. "And I promise, it isn't what it looks like with Lucy."

"Then what is it? Do you not care at all?" She demanded fiercely, clearly the Lucy subject a tough subject.

"Of course I care Lo, this is what this is all about. Me, caring. I can't sit there and watch the girl I fell in love with drink herself to death. I can't be part of that Lauren. You've got to understand that." I pleaded, my eyes locking with hers desperately trying to convey my care.

She nodded slightly and tore her eyes away from mine. "You don't love me anymore?"

"I'll always love you" I admitted reaching my hand out and grasping hers, giving her a slight squeeze. I watched as her shoulders fell, slight relaxation washing over her from a single gesture. It was then I realised. Being apart from her was achieving nothing. If anything, it was killing her quicker. As she said, she couldn't forget and so there came the exceeding drink. I was causing her pain, pain she wanted to go away.

"You should go Joey," she whispered, pulling her hand away and standing, looking down at me once more before turning to make her way to someplace else.

"Lo," I called gently. "Do you really want to be like this? The drink I mean, is this how you want to be?"

She turned and faced me from a distance and our eyes met, she shook her head slowly forming no words.

"I know I've hurt you, I know that. And I'm sorry Lo, I really am." I walked towards her, never losing eye contact. I stopped at about 2 feet away and reached to her hands before entwining them with my own. "Baby let me help you,"

She swallowed slowly. "It's too late Joe, I….I can't" she whispered.

I bowed my head and stepped closer still. "I know it will take more than an apology to trust me again, but you need to believe me when I tell you I love you. I will never stop loving you Lo and I know we can't work right now, but let me in. Let me help you, I realise you can't do it alone. You need me."

"I need you" she mirrored as she accepted my declaration. I nodded slightly and lowered my forehead onto hers.

"I'm sorry baby," I whispered looking into her eyes before I moved slightly to kiss her forehead, lingering momentarily.

"Me too," she admitted, moving her thumb over mine gently. She shivered in the breeze and I acted on an impulse, pulling her into my chest and wrapping my arms around her delicate body.

"I broke you Lo," I whispered into her hair, tightening my hold as my eyes closed. "Let me fix you"


End file.
